I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
