I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
