Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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