we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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