i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
