You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize