Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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