if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
well you can't waste a boner
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Everclear isn't food dammit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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