They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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