This is not my ceiling
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
