I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize