i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
