so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
