I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
