It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
