there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And the cops told us we were all naked.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
