Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
