What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
