You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
whose parrot is this?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
