She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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