I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
