Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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