we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
