I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
