You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
