Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
