dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish you could order shots online.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
