Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
