if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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