he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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