I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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