So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.