I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.