ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

  Fav 10 2162 3032

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

  Fav 38 13202 1158

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

  Fav 10 4558 1560

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

  Fav 3 2875 1597

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

  Fav 19 7648 1354

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.

  (509): View more from Washington

  Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.

  Fav 3 1194 731

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"

  Fav 3 854 1261

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.

  Fav 3 1485 705

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.

  Fav 3 1077 645

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding

  Fav 1 343 615

  share tweet
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check

  Fav 0 321 203

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."

  Fav 0 52 8

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.

  Fav 4 24 36

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.

  Fav 0 54 10

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (907): View more from Alaska

  He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  ....fighter of the Nightman?

  Fav 0 100 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize