i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
