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this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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