Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (897) Bad night (6053)
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  (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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  (805): Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response. http://tfl.nu/yy5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5773) Bad night (727)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1591) Bad night (7117)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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  (314): You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out... http://tfl.nu/a1pv
  Replies (7) Good night (6658) Bad night (1207)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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  (260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg
  Replies (17) Good night (1052) Bad night (3001)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.

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  (210): A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day. http://tfl.nu/06c7
  Replies (5) Good night (2856) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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  (314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi
  Replies (10) Good night (2556) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.

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  (914): If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls. http://tfl.nu/qfqf
  Replies (14) Good night (3091) Bad night (684)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem

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  (803): thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem http://tfl.nu/yh4o
  Replies (4) Good night (1408) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water

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  (919): I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water http://tfl.nu/62v1
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (1730)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You get home ok?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.

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  (404): You get home ok? (1-404): Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah. http://tfl.nu/6dv0
  Replies (2) Good night (1043) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs

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  (224): bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs http://tfl.nu/2u5i
  Replies (8) Good night (842) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.

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  (484): So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest. http://tfl.nu/3leh
  Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.

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  (312): At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific. http://tfl.nu/evej
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

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  (310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand. http://tfl.nu/cp6v
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (360)

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