Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
