Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?

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  (219): So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love? http://tfl.nu/2z3k
  Replies (14) Good night (707) Bad night (2374)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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  (915): After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't. http://tfl.nu/4b73
  Replies (19) Good night (644) Bad night (2819)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT

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  (412): WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/7f7v
  Replies (34) Good night (7283) Bad night (1044)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time

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  (832): why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time http://tfl.nu/brrk
  Replies (27) Good night (4939) Bad night (896)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?

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  (709): so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much? http://tfl.nu/jwju
  Replies (23) Good night (7183) Bad night (1017)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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  (807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu
  Replies (46) Good night (7359) Bad night (1040)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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  (502): I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound. http://tfl.nu/d4li
  Replies (16) Good night (761) Bad night (6500)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

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  (434): I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either... http://tfl.nu/vddq
  Replies (45) Good night (730) Bad night (6986)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5707) Bad night (1133)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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  (613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g
  Replies (23) Good night (5056) Bad night (922)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.

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  (407): All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck. http://tfl.nu/z2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (2149) Bad night (770)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

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  (585): I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over. http://tfl.nu/fjvq
  Replies (3) Good night (2333) Bad night (1775)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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  (403): Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs http://tfl.nu/f0zi
  Replies (3) Good night (2430) Bad night (876)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
  Replies (7) Good night (582) Bad night (360)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.

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  (715): Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high. http://tfl.nu/e7wb
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (338)

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