Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...

(480): View more from Arizona

exactly, that's why i want something interesting

(512): View more from Texas

slutty neuroscientist?

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(512): halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc... (480): exactly, that's why i want something interesting (512): slutty neuroscientist? http://tfl.nu/zg01

Replies (35) Good night (5158) Bad night (631)
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(408): View more from California

They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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(408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp

Replies (21) Good night (7976) Bad night (1292)
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(432): View more from Texas

then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.

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(432): then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going. http://tfl.nu/r8d5

Replies (33) Good night (5428) Bad night (1239)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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(613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l

Replies (5) Good night (4986) Bad night (942)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here

(601): View more from Mississippi

on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends

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(662): this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here (601): on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends http://tfl.nu/r706

Replies (6) Good night (2915) Bad night (843)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

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(317): Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace. http://tfl.nu/qgcb

Replies (8) Good night (1441) Bad night (3135)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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(616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4

Replies (8) Good night (2221) Bad night (817)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"

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(312): I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day" http://tfl.nu/qds9

Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (1331)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

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(316): Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/0lwp

Replies (15) Good night (1474) Bad night (755)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.

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(417): I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/qeni

Replies (23) Good night (3711) Bad night (843)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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(574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498

Replies (2) Good night (1960) Bad night (401)
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(214): View more from Texas

Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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(214): Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed. http://tfl.nu/czkr

Replies (8) Good night (609) Bad night (1381)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.

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(612): Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/dnyr

Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (536)
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(949): View more from California

Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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(949): Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults. http://tfl.nu/b902

Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (285)
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(+07): View more from

I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx

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(+07): I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx http://tfl.nu/i2go

Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (213)

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