So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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