I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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