I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
