Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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