Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
this hospital has no fireball
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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