Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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