I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
