you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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