is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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