hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What happened to fro yo and sex?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
