Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
