you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
