just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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