I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
