Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
love makes seman taste better
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
