five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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