WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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