glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
