and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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