you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
