Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
