Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
