Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
