shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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