Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
