i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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